hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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