They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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