If i come over, it means nothing
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
