Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
