i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
