It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
