Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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