I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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