Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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