Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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