Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
