i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
