I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
