I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
