My underwear smells like fireworks.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
high people should be assigned attendants
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
