Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
