So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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