also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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