Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
