Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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