Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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