i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize