The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize