We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
