In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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