I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Text me some of your sweat
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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