He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
