I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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