since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
