capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
