Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
