I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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