omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
