More tranny stories later!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?