is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno