We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...