A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him