It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
