pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!