He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
