he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
