And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
