So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize