Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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