It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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