Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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