an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
