She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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