Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
