I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
