Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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