Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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