Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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