problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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