This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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