I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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