I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
