Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
