The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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