Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Your dad touched me again.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
