During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
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You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
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Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.