Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.