You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize