Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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