I think I am morally bankrupt
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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