If that was your dad, he is hot
and you said cock pushups were impossible
im holly from the hills drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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